Searching
Comfort
Peace
Help
A heavy, looming aura touched me
He was cloaked in mock sincerity
He spoke with simulated kindness
A beggar led to comfort, I clung
I held out my broken pieces
Desperate
Mend me
Help
The days got better, the nights not as long. I felt like I could breathe again. Color was entering back into my life. Not because of you but because I had the courage to reach out again. I was naïve in thinking that I had found stability, a friend. What I've learned from you, about me, since knowing you is, irreplaceable. The gratitude is not lost and neither is my spirit. I made a mistake in making you a greater a man than you were. But it wasn't really you I clung to, I suppose. I loved you but I shouldn't short change myself in my ability to heal. But thank you for being my scapegoat. You once told me I shouldn't trust so easily, I didn't realize that it was you that I shouldn't put my trust in. You've made your intentions heard and I felt them deeply from behind the computer screen from which you're hiding. I found the healing that I was looking for and the vaccine I desperately needed. It was me the whole time. Me and my broken pieces.
I will continue to be vulnerable. You were right about that.
But you were wrong too, in your cowardice.
I will always think of you and in some ways love you but I'm stronger now.
Still broken but breathing hopefulness.
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